


cry if you need to (but I can't stay to watch you)

by Amortentia_Zarry



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (sort of), Assumed Unrequited Love, Boys Kissing, Confessions, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Mentions of past heartbreak, Pining, Sadness, actual heartbreak, angsty, but still a sexy one, derek was kind of a dick, stiles is me, this made me sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 04:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amortentia_Zarry/pseuds/Amortentia_Zarry
Summary: Or the one where Derek and Stiles finally find closure in a dark place, and there's a lot of tears and confessions.





	cry if you need to (but I can't stay to watch you)

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd (I'm sorry, I suck). 
> 
> Once again, I do not own Teen Wolf or the characters in it. All credit goes to Jeff Davis and MTV. This is purely a work of fiction.
> 
> Enjoy :)
> 
> -Savannah

"I'm sorry about what happened."

"She called you here." 

It wasn't a question. His head of chestnut-coloured waves hung low and swept across his shoulders as he walked over to him slowly, cautiously. The room was eerily dark and a melancholic air surrounded the huddled figure beneath the bunched up, thick, navy duvet. A stale odour permeated the atmosphere and he struggled to breathe. 

He let out a soft sigh.

"Actually, she didn't..." Stiles paused, letting the silence linger before adding, " I came on my own."

He hated the trace of vulnerability in his voice as he uttered the last sentence. Derek didn't turn to face him.

"Why?" He asked, incredulity and accusation laced in his words. 

Stiles held his breath and internally counted to ten before releasing it. He had found it helped to calm him when dealing with particularly dreadful or irritable situations. It also helped him not to cry.

He wasn't meant to still be affected by this. 

By him.

"You know why." He said it softly, in a way that he couldn't prevent.

"So I'm a failure," came the monotonous reply, "come to rub it in, have you?"

Stiles suppressed the angry retort bubbling on his tongue. He hadn't come to fight. Not this time.

"I'm going to choose to ignore that because believe it or not, I haven't come here for a fight." He replied through gritted teeth.

"Well isn't that a first." Derek's voice was thick with sarcasm. 

Stiles bit his tongue and kept his head hung low.

"How is he?" Derek asked, bitterness dripping from each word. A tell-tale sign of his jealousy.

Stiles’ head snapped up to look at him. A determinedly fierce look shimmered in his dark eyes.

"No! You don't get to be jealous, not now. Not after everything you've put me through. You don't get to do this to me again." He growled, furiously.

A scruffy head shot up from beneath the duvet, a mess of unruly hair that had grown out of whatever style it had been made into. Blazing eyes glared across at him. Plump lips pulled into a frowning pout.

"You're one to talk about jealousy. You ignored and insulted me for months after you found out I had a girlfriend." Derek huffed loudly.

"You knew how I felt about you..." Stiles whispered. 

It felt as though someone was digging their arm around inside of his chest, embedding their fingernails inside of his heart and re-opening old wounds. It was like it was happening all over again.

"He- I thought you were in love with him..." Derek said quietly.

"I was in love with /you/."

/Crack/. 

His heart felt like it was breaking all over again.

"W-was?" It was a broken reply.

"Please don't." Stiles' voice is small. "I can't."

Tears prickled at the back of his eyes.

An unsettling silence settled around them.

/Crack/.

"I haven't come here for this." He pressed his forefingers against his temples and closed his eyes. 

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Fi-

"Then for what?" He sneered, "to tell me how happy you are with him or to tell me how much you hate me?"

"Please...I've never hated you." He sighed, resigned.

"You've certainly said it enough times."

"I'd been waiting for you for almost two years and you went and got with someone else. How was I supposed to react!? I loved you!" His reply burst out of him like a popped balloon. 

His eyes burned.

No reply came.

"I loved you," it came out quieter this time, "and you didn't even care about me enough to tell me that you didn't feel the same..."

A final crack ran through the surface of his chest, breaking the dam wall surrounding his heart and releasing a flood of emotions.

A tear slid down his cheek.

"Maybe it's because I did." He muttered.

An incredulous laugh exited his lips suddenly.

"Well you certainly had a funny way of showing that." 

He looked up at him, his mouth down turned.

"I never meant to hurt you." He said, softly.

Stiles' laughter had died but his tears were still falling, his heart was still breaking. It had taken him a long time to get to where he was, but he was there. He had arrived. And despite everything that had happened between the two of them. Despite the harsh words, betrayal, sadness, heartbreak and everything else that Derek had put him through, he understood. 

Stiles glanced at him. 

Derek had his own set of tears streaming down his face and an expression displayed on his face that told him that his whole world had just fallen apart. Much like his had, before, when Derek had done the same thing to him. It would have been almost amusing to him, how the tables had turned, if he didn't know what that felt like. 

When Derek's eyes met his, he didn't feel the set of fireworks that he once did, but he saw the honesty swimming around within the fiery depths of them.

"I know." He said.

For several minutes, nothing more was said.

"We could've been great together, you know." Derek said, breaking the silence.

"I know." He said.

"We could still be..." He said, almost inaudibly. 

"No," he said firmly, "we couldn't."

"I know." 

"I did love you...but I'm happy now." He said truthfully, "I'm happy with him. He makes me happy."

"That's all I want." Derek sighed, "That's all I've ever wanted. I just always thought the person to do it would be me..."

"You could've been."

"I know."

"I'm sorry." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who fucked us up."

Stiles climbed up the bed and settled beside him, shoulder to shoulder, hands almost touching but not quite. He rested his head against Derek's shoulder.

" I think we both fucked 'us' up." He retorted.

"Fucked ourselves up in the process, didn't we?"

"Yup."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry it didn't work out between the two of you."

"To be honest, it was never anything serious."

He pulled back suddenly and turned to look up at Derek and face him, incredulous and struck with surprise.

"What? Then why are you so depressed?"

"It reminded me of all the good things in my life that I messed up to have the life I thought was best for me despite knowing deep down that wasn't true. I lost the best person in my life for a relationship that I knew would never lead to anything serious. And I hurt you...don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself again."

"You haven't lost me. You can't get rid of me that easily." He reached his arm out and ran his fingers down Derek's side, tickling him mercilessly as he spluttered with laughter. He giggled.

Derek took control of the situation, quickly flipping them over and pinning his hands above his head.

Stiles giggling ceased.

He could feel the warmth of Derek's breath on his face. His eyes pierced Stiles'. He lowered his head, unintentionally bringing their faces closer together.

Stiles' breath caught in his throat. A whirlwind of emotions rushed over him. He could barely think as Derek inched closer and closer. He felt the soft brush of his lips against his.

"I think I'm in love with you."

And then they were kissing. 

A slow, passionate, heartbroken kiss. Their first...and their last. 

When night had already fallen, a heartbroken boy slipped from beneath the duvet of another heartbroken boy of whom he had just spilled his heart out to, and of whom had done the same. He paused briefly on his way out, looking at Derek's sleeping form for one last time.

"I think I'm in love with you too. I think I always will be."

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you can. 
> 
> If you can't that's cool too.
> 
> Tumblr:   
> https://amortentia-zarry.tumblr.com


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